BIG EARL

Doug Henderson Can KISS My Trough

CHILI COOK-OFF RESULTS ARE IN. Runner up. AGAIN. Third time, folks. Third time Doug Henderson and his "award-winning" three-bean chili have bested me. Let me tell you something about Doug Henderson's chili: it's FINE. It's perfectly FINE chili. There's nothing WRONG with it. And that's the problem. It's boring chili, Doug. It's the beige sedan of chili.

My chili has PERSONALITY. My chili has a habanero kick that'll make you see God. But apparently the judges want "balanced flavor profiles" and not "a religious experience." Whatever. Next year. NEXT YEAR.

Comments (14) | Earl Jr. says: "Dad please stop blogging about Doug"

The Tulsa Job: A 14-Hour Love Story

Got a call from a fella in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Says he wants a 6-foot stainless trough for his garage. Tulsa is 14 hours away. Linda says "Earl, you cannot drive 14 hours to install one trough." I says "Linda, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

So me and Big Bertha hit the road. Made it in 13 hours and 47 minutes (new record). Installed the trough in 2 hours flat. Client gave me a steak dinner. Medium rare. I slept in the truck at a Walmart parking lot and drove back the next day. Linda was furious. But the client was HAPPY, and that's what this business is about.

Also, Big Bertha started making a new noise around hour 9. Sounds like a cat in a dryer. Gonna have my guy look at it. Probably fine.

Comments (7) | Tagged: road trip, tulsa, bertha problems

New Year's Resolutions (Earl Edition)

1. Install 500 troughs this year (aggressive but Earl don't do "realistic")
2. Beat Doug Henderson at the chili cook-off
3. Convince Linda to let me put a trough in the kitchen
4. Teach Flusher to stop eating trough cakes (the dog kind, not the... you know what, both kinds)
5. Update this website (Earl Jr. says it "looks like 1998" -- I says "THANK YOU")
6. Get Oklahoma license renewed (it's been "pending" for 3 years)
7. Learn what a "podcast" is and maybe start one

Comments (3) | Linda says: "The kitchen will happen over my dead body, Earl"

Merry Christmas From The Plumbertons!

Merry Christmas from the whole Plumberton clan! Got Linda a nice necklace from Kay Jewelers. Got Earl Jr. one of them new iPod music players. Got Earlene some clothes and gift cards (she's 14, I have no idea what she wants). Got Flusher a new squeaky toy.

What did I get? Linda got me new work boots (needed), Earl Jr. got me a "World's #1 Dad" mug (debatable), and Earlene made me a card that says "Happy Birthday Jesus and also I guess my dad who is embarrassing." I'm framing it.

I also bought myself a present: a 3-foot mini display trough for my desk. Linda doesn't know yet. I'll update this blog with the results.

Comments (22) | UPDATE: Linda found out. Trough is now in the garage. With the other seven.

Bengals Lost Again. I Need a Trough Break.

I'm not going to talk about the Bengals game today. I'm not going to mention the score (34-7). I'm not going to discuss the four interceptions. I'm not going to bring up the fact that I wore my lucky overalls and they STILL lost.

Instead, I'm going to go to the showroom, polish some troughs, and think about how at least TROUGHS never let you down. A trough doesn't throw four interceptions. A trough doesn't miss a 28-yard field goal. A trough just sits there, doing its job, every single day.

Be more like a trough, Bengals. Be more like a trough.

Comments (31) | Most popular post ever. Earl accidentally became inspirational.